exams out! but all my dearie liannneess are still having their exam so i'm pretty much at home eating slping eating slping :(
can't wait till everyone's exams are overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
pic from looong ago.. my b'day surprise frm the lians! <3
alll the best liannnnesss and may the exams be over soon!
*fen

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

oh my god oh my god oh my god she's cooking again today. she cooked last night as well. last night went pretty successfully, what a relief. and thank HEAVENS i didnt eat like a bloody pig again last night. well i did eat some chips (stupid persistent little devil in my head).

oh shit i dunno if tonight will be successful. what if she sits beside me like a fricking watchdog again? she did you know, last night, but luckily i'd already done what i had to do before she came to the living room and sat her ass down beside me! ha.

i had a bit of ketchup for lunch today.

ah CRAP. why am i even straining my brain cells coming up with all these schemes to hide my food?? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?? stupid devil. stupid Ed. stupid vanda. UUUUUUUUUUUGHHHH.

anyway, i hope we'll be working together, Zi Bi Lian/Ah Lin. that would be cool. *grin* sharon, u want anot!! =D last call for sharon soh pau lian. haha. and MF never reply =((((((( i know the Chio Mouse has hall activities so she cant make it =p

oh right, so that means sushi lian (sounds like sushi face) also has right??? see la see la, hall hall hall, no time for mango-ing. byebye. need to study chemmy now.

good luck liannies, for exams! :)

*sprinkles some good luck dust over each liannie*

oh what the hell, you guys dont need it!!!
*empties whole bag over myself instead*

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH.

there isnt any school this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that means i have to study at home. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i told my mom this yesterday and she was all, "tomorrow i fry beehoon for lunch okay?" im like, what the F??????????! is that all you can think about, really? making sure i get my daily dose of 'proper food'?! oh god. i didnt reply her, naturally. i just made a face. haha.

i mean, come ON. if i said "NO mother, you will do no such thing. you will let me drink half a cup of teh peng or kopi peng or whatever but you will NOT force me to put food in my mouth", would she REALLY have agreed to it????? she shouldnt ask stupid questions like that in an attempt to include me in her decision-making processes.

so how? how? how? im freaking out right now because it is 10.41am and in approximately 2 hours, there will be a steaming plate/bowl/pot/barrel (god forbid) of bee fricking hoon in front of me, taunting me and daring me to eat it. AND. i cant throw the stuff away because she will probably SEE me doing so as she will sit right beside me, pretending to watch the tv screen but surreptitiously glancing at my every move from the corner of her eye.

and WHO KNOWS, she might even have gone for some recombinant DNA operation thingy in the dead of the night, and made the doctor insert the eye gene in her cheek so that she can monitor me from the side while keeping her original 2 eyes focused on another direction.

what do i do what do i do?
not that i expect an answer from anyone of course.

oh, and i forgot to mention the sins i have committed last night. guess what??? i ate 'cheesier cheese' doritos again. HAHAHA!!! what a pig i am huh? i didnt eat lunch and dinner, but i ate unhealthy tortilla chips. i am SO stupid. i am SO VERY stupid. i am SO VERY INCREDIBLY EXTREMELY GROTEQUELY EXCRUCIATINGLY MIND-NUMBINGLY UNBELIEVABLY stupid.

in FACT, i INSIST that 'durian' be dropped from my Lian Identity and be replaced by 'Stupid'.

i woke up today with a hangover-y feeling
the funny thing is that i havent drank anything for like weeks?
and i nvr get hangovers
i'm hangingover from OB
the shock from it rather
OBOBOB - pls let me get my B! (haha it sounds like i'm begging for some guy named bob. if only. it's Organisational Behaviour and it sucks.)

wah minnie! 35 msgs! so pro! haha
you've officially broke my record of like 11
last time i used to get awoken by msgs at like 5/6am
now, i jus slp right thru even though its like 1/2pm
i know many pple cant wait to kill me coz i always reply 12hrs later
wahahaha
but it's kinda funny how sometimes i'll wake up to the msg frm certain pple though i do not know b4hand who it is from
say tdy, i woke up immediately to roomie's msg
i think we're pyshcic (:

my life isn't weirdly pretty
it hasnt been since a long time ago since it crashed to rock bottom
my bestie mandy says she's quite amazed how i can pick myself up so fast
used to not agree with her, but was watching the 530 show tdy and i realise
i am rly qute pro. i managed to pull myself tog and drag myself to ome stupid speech/presentation thingy and look amazing.
and i didn't fail it.
i'm so proud of myself (:

seems like everyone is stuck to a song
i love the bubbly song too!
haha
and let the cheena me contribute a cheena song that i've been listening to the past few days

it's nice! go listen to it!
and jolin's rly pretty!
haha
someone once told me you tend to associate certain songs to certain events or pple
quite true i guess. but sometimes after so long you no longer feel the same sadness or pain or whatever
come on, it's a rainy fri nite. allow me to be emo for a while cannn? haha

假装多好我只要只想要再拥有一秒

去相信你的拥抱一直会让我依靠

okay emo-ness over!
marketing here i come!
i <3 marketing! almost as much as fling <3 it!

*fen, still feeling the hangover-y feeling :(
not fair. at least let me drink nxt time b4 subjecting me to such torture.

Whoa!!! Our dear ol blog is ALIVE once again!! hahha!! Glad to see everyone's blogging except for... huilin!!! Hee, now i blog so i'm not the last to blog!! =p

I'm listening to the youtube sharon posted as i'm typing this and the song is ok la... HAHA!! go listen to bubly by colbie calliat! My current favourite song!! Heehee!!

I serously miss you guys a lot! It's like we've been detached for so long that we no longer know wad's going on in each other's lives!! Like we couldn't be around for each other when someone is feeling sad or smth like that... Exams sucks! Period.


I'm starting to worry that i'm not worried at all... if you know wad i mean... Ha, its 2 weeks to finals and i haven't even started on my normal tutorial stuff. And i'm not the least worried. Currently watching some HK drama serial on DVDs from morn to night when i'm not in hall. And you know what? I tink i'm starting to tire of hall... I dunno why but just recently on wed, b4 deepavali, we're suppossed to haf some goodluck supper thingy but i just leave hall without a note or word. The worst thing is i lost my phone and can't find it anywhere. Anyway, not realising the loss, I happpily went back home and eat and watch tv and relax. GUESS WAD??!!


At 12 plus, a classmate called my house cos she got my phone no. and told me my hall pple are looking for me frantically. I chua tio, i tell you. There is no link between that classmate and my hall pple wadsoever!! Then i started to look for my phone really frantically!! Finally, i found it! and ZOMG!! i got like 35 missed calls and messages!! Everyone thought i got some major problem at home and am avoiding them! When i'm actually watching tv eating cake at home. I tink i'm so dead!


Shiatz, i'm pretty scared now actually. I know its stupid, wad's to be scared of?? And i dunno also but i just don't dare to return to hall currently... Hahhha! iT'S LIKE THAT KIND OF YOU BROKE YOUR MOTHER'S FAVOURITE VAS AND YOU DUNNO HOW TO FACE HER KIND OF SCARED.(oops! i dunno why capslock but i lazy to delete and retype)


Ok, i'm getting very leychey abt my life here... hahhha! And bun, conflicts are inevitable though i tink your that go see prof classmate a bit stupid. Ha! The class like for 1 whole year then she go do this kind of stuff... Quite dumb really... I tink there are both good and bad pple in biz. Sssshhh, but i tink pple in the biz main com (not really saying our frens from CAC) are damn dao and tink they like own the world or smth when nobody cares a shit abt them. Ha! But there're nice pple ard too... My classmates are pretty okay pple, got pple like izayana and erm... joei... Hahha!






I tink some things in life are damn weird. Sometimes you can work so hard and try so hard to make smth work but if it's not meant to be then i guess it's not meant to be. Sigh... I'm getting really tired. All the highs with doses of euphoria then the lows all the sinking into abyss. Damnit! I need to move on with life.





-love

your ever lovely ham chi pang who's going to eat herblackforest cake now!! *yummss!(=

tonight SUCKED. it absolutely positively 100percent-ly sucked. I ATE SOME DINNER. AND THEN I ATE POTATO CHIPS AND ICE CREAM AFTER DINNER. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! normally, the rule is, if i put so much as a morsel of solid food into my mouth at dinner, i CANNOT eat all that junk afterwards. but i broke the golden rule today. i ate some pieces of fish skin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wasnt supposed to. but really, fish skin is nice. no, i didnt eat the fish meat. havent done so for...maybe a month. that goes for other forms of meat like chicken and pork and beef and prawns and vege and whatever other proper food there are. in fact, i think the only stuff i've been consuming recently lie at the fricking top of the food pyramid. LIKE ice cream. i think almost EVERY SINGLE BLOODY DAY i eat like 2 tablespoons of ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know what you're thinking. you're thinking,

"i thought she doesnt even want to eat? how come she dares to eat all that unhealthy junk??? doesnt she know it's much worse than eating proper meals??? she is so stupid! she's going to spoil her diet like this!"

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?????

im being STUPID RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like, SHOULDNT I EAT MY LUNCH AND DINNER INSTEAD OF ONLY EATING JUNK FOOD AT NIGHT????? thats what LOGICAL, RATIONAL people like you would think! but here comes the problem: IM NOT NORMAL ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why the HELL do i care so much about being thin????????????? what the hell is the point??????!!!!!!!!!!! i feel like i have a split personality. Evil Vanda and Sensible Vanda co-habiting in my mind.

so anyway, like the PIG and stinking idiot that i am, i didnt eat anything the whole day until just now when i ate some pieces of fish skin from dinner. i discarded the fish meat and the vege and the prawns and the sotong............

i'm sorry, starving children of africa. i really am. believe me, i would gladly give all my food to you if ever we could meet.

but all that is of inconsequence when you consider the crimes i committed AFTER dinner. I ATE POTATO CHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!! AND 2 TABLESPOONS OF ICE CREAM. of course i didnt finish the whole bag, but STILL. a chip is a chip is a chip. a handful of chips HAS CALORIES TOO. whats the point of abstaining from food the whole day when at night i eat stupid things like that?????

but i just cant bring myself to eat in the day. i just HATE that feeling of fullness you know? and i cant go about my daily activities on a bulging tummy. right now i feel very full. and i loathe it. i wish i could burst my damned stomach. puncture it. pierce it till everything flows out. i shouldnt have been so greedy. I SHOULDNT HAVE EATEN THOSE CHIPS. =( i feel like crying.

last saturday we went to the doctor. yes, the shrink. yes, the one i have to go to because i have a MENTAL PROBLEM. im not afraid to say it. so im insane. big deal. and my stupid mother was like, "how come she's not showing any improvement even though shes eating..." blah blah shit crap rubbish manure dung faeces rotting rat's puke. stupid idiot. so i snapped at her. "so you won't be happy until you see me fatter la!" nope, i certainly didnt give a flying F about watching my tone. so what if the doctor and his wife were there? SO WHAT. they're sucking my dad of 300+++++ damned dollars a MONTH. might as well give them a good show to watch and talk about over dinner with the family.

and then it occurred to me that all this while i've been lying them. they think im eating, but im not. not like a NORMAL girl, anyway. i only eat at night. oh shit. no i dont!!!!!! in the morning i eat about half a slice of bread. oh god..perhaps i should eat less for breakfast too. so there they are, forking out percious money to pay for the stupid medicine which supposedly is an anti-depressant, and here i am,unwilling to change. im a sinner i tell you. a sinnerrrrrrrrrrrrrr. in fact, just the other day, i received satan's invitation to join him in ruling hell.

i just hate my life. i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i wish somebody would KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! every meal time is a harrowing experience. check that they arent watching, and then shove the food one at a time into my pocket or a tissue or something. and then the next mealtime comes,and the cycle repeats itself allllllllll over again. like a fricking bad videotape.

SO that brings me to my point. WHY CANT I CHANGE MY ATTITUDE????? why do i want to be as thin as possible???

heyy girlss!!
heard of this song? Sweet child o mine by Guns n Roses? haha. its pretty cool! i love it loads! haha quite an old song actually. haha. the music is catchy and upbeat! alternaltive rock ! haha.my current favvvv song! haha. heres the you tube link!



enjoy it okayss!!!

-life is weirdly pretty...-

LovEsss
~bun bun~~

*sorry girls. this is gona be a very whiny piece of blog. haha. give u all prior warning *

today is such a bad day for me! I was feeling lousy and gloomy and sick! sigh! started off so wrongly! i woke up todae feeling really tired and weak. plus it was raining and i was late for school. so i shared a cab with my friend. when iwas in sch, i was freezing half of the time!!!!!! its like artic!!!!!11 whyy??? and its like those kind of cold when u are about to fall ill! i dun like that! i hate fever! :(

i cant concentrate the whole dae today. on top of all these, i have to bear with people dao -ing me, when i actually greeted the person. it feels like crap, like u r being slap in the face. y hate me? did i do anything gravely wrongly? i didnt even kanow that this was happening.

oh well... i cant do anyhting about it. i won even want to classify things. whats the point? i just hope maybe they can understand my side of story. :)

conflicts are like neverending. how sickening. take my project(mno) group for example. During the whole filming, everyone was pretty comfortable with each other. no signs of distress, tensions etc. but when the damn project was going to end, the team went haywire. major argument i would say, which arose cos of some miscommunication and lack of trust (as the prof claims). things just turned sour overnight! seriously! the whole team was breaking apart. the affected team mate actually went up to tell the teacher aftter our presentation.(actually the affected team mate told me tt she was oNly unhappy with one of the guy in my team)

in the end we went to see the PROF of the course. seriously, is there a need to? i dont know. i wasnt on anyone's side. i felt that no one is 100percent right. all of us are wrong. we could have done more to prevent this stupid conflict from happening. now that things have turned out like tt, its so weird to see them in class. for me, it wasnt that bad, jus that im able to sense the tension when they see each other. the girl hardly come to lesson now. how sad la!

i went ntu yesterdae! for the publicity thing for Funkamania. ( fyi, funkamania is a annual dance competition for tertiary schs!haha) waa.. i tell ntu is super duper humongously gigantic la!!!! no wonder the girls there are sOOoooO skinnyyY!!!! my god! i shld hav gone ntu! i would have been like so much slimmer! haha.

my god.. im hungry alr!!! haha
i jus ate dumpling just now ! sesame!!! wahahaha

--bun bun---

our blog is aliveee again! (:
good hair day = happy day!
been yrs since i had a gd hair day, and all i've been to is s'goon central to get stared at by weird uncles :(

anyways i think now shld be the stress perios for all bah - finals
but we can make it! we've made it thru so far and we will continue to yah?
and i know all of you can make it - you know why?
coz we are the smartest and preeeetiest lians (:

marketing tut is addictive such that it gets me stuck to a new song each week
last week was wo ke yi by cai min you
this wk is the remix of umbrella by rihanna and chris brown
you can be my cinderella (ella ella eh eh eh)
lol

i hafta go back to hall tml though i got no lessons! *pouts*
so much to settle, so little time~

i wanna watch stardust
i wanna watch xiong di by andy lau and michael miu! (he's damn damn damn shuai! *swoons*)

stationery shops are my new indulgence
a form of retail therapy too i guess?

OH i rem what i wanna blog abt le
(haha yah the above all were just random thoughts :P)
after-exam plans!
this is what keeps me going!
so so so we should plan what we wanna do, cant waste any single day at all
hopefully healthy activities right? hahaha i'm on a mission-save-my-liver
hahahaha
but its hard not to succumb. tsktsk
actually i can see my life when i start working, i can tell u, it's not a beautiful sight.
but sometimes its the only avenue of escape and de-stressing. sad isn't it.
it's sadder when you can see that.

haha okay back to HAPPY STUFF!
exams will be over in a *poof* and the hols will be here!
we can meet every single day if we want? or sleepover at our halls, play mj over the night, go for midnight supper/movie/k and maybe other activities that cause potential harm to the liver.
that's life! (:
this is so not!

off to study~ tata!
and dad bought crab pizza coz i said i have craving for crab! (: <3>

hallooo liannss!!! its been such a looong time since ive last blogged! i have to blog more freqently now! haha. perhaps abt my boring sch life.haha.

ohhh! i ll upload our photos here in my next blog! haha.haay! we shld meet up more! haha.

hmmm...how are u all??? din q see u all for a long time! esp mingfen and huilin! haha. actually i dun even see vanda often too, though we study in the same school. haha.

minnie! haha.all the projs are killing me! i still have fna report hand in! I hate stupid exams!haha. i think i only see u a few times in sch, and all are for v short periods.can we meet up for lunch sometime nxt wk???
how abt tue?haha. ill msg u!

ming and hui! jiayou for yr exams okay! u all can do it! jiayous jiayous! haha.

I NEED RETAIL THERAPY! when can we shop? most prob aft my exams which ends on 6dec. so damn late rite.haha.

all my sentences are so fragmented and random n disorganised. ahaha.im very tired now, though i jus drank starbucks coffee just now. effect wearing off already!

haha. sigh. there are so many things to worry abt!!! this is getting so stressful. i think my lateness is getting frm bad to worse. i seriously need to do sth abt it! i will strive to b early fo rall my lects nxt wk! my aim~~!!!

i got lots to say, lots to complain and whine about.

minnie... seriously wad do u think of business and the friends in there? its makin me feel sick. lol. i dunno.

hmmm.. u noe tt senior senior i went out w last time? he blocked me on msn u noe. haha. i feel q sucky to noe tt someone blocked me. its q a childish thing to do. but i guess he mus rly hate me. nth much i can do either. haha. i jus feel kinda of amazed by how easily love can turn into hatred. the line is just too thin.

i wana so the things i wan. i wished i had more time. really.

okay.. tts abt it! nxt entry will b soon~!

seee u all sooonn!! take care and lotsa lucks meanwhile okay lians??

LovEs n hugs!

-..bun bun..-

im in the foulest of all moods today. i binged last night. who the hell binges at night??? only pigs like me thats for sure. im a PIG PIG PIG PIG PIG. no wait, scratch that. the pig chieftain may beat me to a pulp if he hears this. i ate HALF A LARGE BAG OF LAY'S POTATO CHIPS. can you imagine how many calories that amounts to?? CAN YOU????? I BET YOU CANT!!!!! BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE DONT DO THIS KIND OF STUPID THING!!!!!! okay, so i didn't eat anything the whole day except for half a slice of bread in the morning, BUT STILL THATS NO EXCUSE TO EAT HALF A DAMNED BAG OF CHIPS AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!! oh my god. i am such a glutton. a fricking gluttonous hippopotamus' fat ass. how stupid can i be?? instead of eating healthy food like DINNER and LUNCH, i choose to eat CHIPS instead. stupid vanda. stupid stupid stupid idiot vanda. you are a FOOL, do you know that?????????? and this morning my stomach was SO bloody big. think hot air balloon. it STILL IS. i am such an ass. I SHOULD NOT HAVE EATEN THOSE STUPID CHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHICH HAVE BEEN DEEP FRIED AND SOAKED IN GOD KNOWS HOW MANY GALLONS OF DISGUSTING OIL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????????????? WHY DO I EAT CHIPS INSTEAD OF PROPER FOOD????????????????????????? and what's wrong with YOU, lians? how dare you have such a friend???!!!!!!!! such a freak of a friend, freak-of-nature-, god's-worst-creation, waste-of-resource complete ASS for a friend? it will not project a very sensible and sane impression of you, you know. you don't want people to think you have a crazy freaky friend, do you? im gonna get fatter i swear, after what happened last night. someone PLEASE SPIKE MY DRINK. i know, i could go club at one of those shady unknown KTV clubs or whatever, buy a dark colored opaque drink and deliberately leave it on the counter unattended. i hate chips i hate chips i hate chips i hate chips. when i get home today, the first thing ill do is empty the containers of chips into the dustbin. actually, no. ill pour everything in a plastic bag, seal it up real tight, and stamp on it till everything turns to powder. and THEN ill throw it. i hate you for tempting me into eating you. I HATE MOM FOR BUYING THEM. I HATE MYSELF FOR BINGEING. I HATE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE.